He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
