We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize