I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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