marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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