all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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