Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
