That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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