so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
