I'm drive I can fine osifer
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
