So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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