official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
