i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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