is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
