there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You're like the curious george of whores
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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