You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
this hospital has no fireball
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
