Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
