so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
