i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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