just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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