Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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