I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
