ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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