So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
soo... how was my night?
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