So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
