definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
