Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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