ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
