Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
