I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
