wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize