redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
