it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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