areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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