thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
