so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
