Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
