pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
