yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
