he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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