I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
BRING THE BAGELS
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
