It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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