Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
