how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
