dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
