I'm jealous of your bromance
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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