I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
