Kiss
Puke
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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