He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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