Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
even my farts smell like vagina
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
