There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
