it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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