I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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