everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
