I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
