the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
