I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
