I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
