I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize